(6/24/08)I figured the last post was so jam packed with stuff that I'd save this last pic for a separate post. Here's what the port looks like under my skin. It's a little creepy to me still, like a little alien or cyborg part or something sitting there. Luckily it doesn't really move around or anything. The double circle is where they stick the two needles in to access it, and the line goes up over my clavicle, so you can see the catheter sticking up through the skin there. So far it's definitely been worth it. No more shower sleeve, no more weekly dressing changes - plus I can swim and climb and do all sorts of things without worrying too much about it. I tend to fiddle with it a lot, kind of like people who have piercings, but usually I don't notice it too much. It does help me feel that much closer to normal.
Me and My Brows
On the flipside, one thing that's been making me feel a little less normal is my loss of eyebrows and lashes. The brows have really thinned out quite a bit, and the lashes have also mostly fallen out. I guess like everyone I'm a little vain, so the ability to pass myself off as some guy who just decided to shave his head was kind of nice. I suppose most people don't really notice, or if they do they certainly don't say anything, but for some reason I always end up wondering what the guy on the street would think. Plus, I think I've started coveting other people's eyebrows. For some reason I find myself staring at them all the time now. It's ridiculous, I know, but I guess I just never noticed eyebrows before. Maybe I can start to make other people feel self-conscious by just continuously staring at their nice thick, bushy brows.
Anyway, my eyelashes coming out doesn't bother me that much from an aesthetic level, but practically I think I've started getting more gunk in my eyes as a result. I guess it turns out they really do serve a purpose, to keep crap out of your eyes. I can't even do the boy scout first aid trick we learned where you pull down your top eyelid over your bottom lid to get the botttom eyelashes to scoop out the gunk in your top lid. How is one supposed to get gunk out of his eye without eyelashes?
1 comment:
yo yo, just read the tumor updates. that's awesome news !!. that first aid trick of yours.. is that real? that sounds like the story of ketchup and salt generating an exothermic reaction. kids get excited and put their hands over the ketchup. BAM!! you slap their hands into the ketchup. i guess in your case, they hit you on the head or something when you're blind?
-alan
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