Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Pain in the Butt


Unbelievably, it's already 2008, and almost February for that matter. How time flies when you're having fun/getting radiation therapy every day. . . Okay, you'll have to excuse any cheeky humor that finds its way into this post. I've been reading David Sedaris' Naked, which is pretty much hilarious. He writes about his life in terms of these little vignettes - stories about hitchhiking across the country, going to summer camp, picking apples in Oregon - but he does it in such a way that makes everything just believable enough to buy into it, but just unbelievable enough to be in shock and awe at the situations he describes. Yes, I am coveting his writing talent.

Anyhow, here's the quick update: Today was day 21 of 28 days of radiation - just 7 more days to go!! So far so good - my neupogen shots have been keeping the WBCs (White Blood Cells) nice and happy, so we've been able to plow along with the radiation treatments. It's a bit of a pain to drive into campus every day, but I guess that's what I'd be doing anyway. The real pain in the butt is, well, this pain in the butt I've been having. I'll spare the gory details, but let's just say I have some sort of tear or cut or something that makes every BM (Bowel Movement) very painful. I've tried sitz baths, suppositories (reminds me of middle school, when we used to make off-color jokes about how Lee Harvey Oswald took a shot at JFK from the Texas School Book Suppository - not sure the joke really went much farther than that, because I'm not sure any of us really knew what a suppository was - except that it was supposed to be funny), lidocaine (numbing gel), lotions, but nothing seems to be making things heal up. Apparently this is just one of those things you have to wait out. Who knew simple bodily functions like pooing and peeing (see previous posts on Foley catheters and painful urination) could cause such trauma in one's life? Let that be a lesson to all you people out there, taking your pee and poo for granted. You'd better start appreciating the smooth workings of your respective urinary and gastrointestinal tracts, 'fore I come ov'r thar and whoop you with mah crotchety old man's cane. Jus' let me git outta this rockin' chair, first... (much exaggerated fist shaking ensues).


Anonymous said...

Ouchouchouch! It sounds like you're on top of all the possible remedies, but just in case: my sister and other recently pregnant friends swear by colace (those first few BMs after giving birth can be a bitch, especially if you have a lot of tearing). It's OTC, so might be worth a try to keep things a little less painful while you heal up. Which I hope is soon!

Adam said...

Hi Alex! You articulate all that's happening so clearly and honestly - your blogs are facile and engaging. Those in the medical profession should take a (virtual) page from your book! I know it's been a while since we've checked in, but Sally and I think about often and are sending are good vibes your way, perpetually. Thank you for continuing to keep all your fans out here up to date. Hang in there.

Thomas Sean said...

Dude, pains in asses are no good - come to Hawaii where the Island will heal you! I had a cold, backaches and joint pain when I left for Hawaii and now I'm feeling awesome, lost 15 pounds too! Seriously though bro, keep up the spirits and come visit soon, the sun and surf will soothe you bra.