NYC, consultations, and more lumps
(5/7/09)I was in New York last week to consult with a pediatric oncologist at Memorial Sloan-Kettering about my situation. I arrived on Saturday night and spent a couple days hanging out with friends and catching up. That part was fantastic. Sarah came down from New Haven, and Amina came up from DC. Anthony and Lisa (NYers) were there, too, and we hung out chatting at Amina's brother Asheq's apartment, then went out for some late night Korean fried chicken (very tasty). The next day Anthony, Sarah, Manasi, and I had a nice brunch downtown and spent the afternoon lounging and tossing the frisbee (ahem - "disc", that is) in Central Park. Anthony's friend Dave joined us later and we had an impromptu progressive dinner consisting of pearl milk tea from St. Alps Teahouse, tasty pork buns and cornmeal/chocolate-marshmallow cookies from a place called Milk, pommes frites with tasty sauces from another place (I think it's aptly called "Pommes Frites"), and gelato at the Whole Foods gelato stand. On Monday I had a nice lunch with my friend Stephanie, who's about to get married and move to Atlanta (Hotlanta!), and went climbing with Anthony and Randy. Wednesday I got to meet up with Holly and Anthony again, and stopped by Jessica's office to say hi. So that was all good stuff.
Not so good stuff - The doctor in NY was very blunt about my situation. He painted a grim picture for my chances but did suggest a combination of whole-lung radiation therapy along with low-dose maintenance chemotherapy as a possible way to stave off further recurrence. Still the numbers weren't good. It was a bit of a shock. My mom and I were unprepared for him to be so negative about the fact that I had had a recurrence. There's always the chance of pulling through and being in that minority statistic. In any case, his recommendation was that I have a CT scan of my chest, and if that was clear, to proceed with this preventative therapy measure.
So when I came back to CA, I had a CT scan of my chest. The scan was last Friday (May 1st). Then on Wednesday, this happened. . .
(5/6/09) Short Story - Doctor's Appointment back in CA
Waiting again. My mom, my sister, and I were in the small examination room when a knock came at the door. "Hello?" I said. A doctor I hadn't seen before backed himself through the curtain while carrying a small open laptop computer and some papers. He was about my height, dark-skinned, probably of South Asian descent. He introduced himself as an oncology fellow working with my doctor. We had taken up the chairs in the room, so he perched himself on the edge of examination table and balanced the laptop on his knees. "How are you doing?" he asked. "Any new pains?" Going through the motions again. "Any new lumps or bumps? Any problems urinating?" He was typing in my responses as I gave them. There was something unnerving about the laptop, the back of a screen like a little barrier between us. "Why don't you come sit on the table so I can examine you, and then I'll tell you about the CT scan results from Friday." He was stalling. I sat up on the table and he went through his exam. Shining light into my eyes, thumping on my back, feeling for lymph nodes under my arms. Was he being more thorough for a reason? Stethescope on my back. "Deep breath." Inhale, exhale. Move stethescope. Inhale, exhale. . . He finished and sat down on the stool where I was sitting before. "So, the scan results came back and there's a new nodule in your left lung." Shit.
Actually, there are two. . .
One nodule is 2 cm (WTF? 2 cm in 2 months???), and the other is 7mm. We're still sorting out the treatment steps, but it looks like it will be some combination of radiation (to the lungs) and chemotherapy. The NY doc suggested chemo first, but if that doesn't work, the tumors may have grown too big for radiation to handle them effectively. If we do radiation first, there maybe metastatic disease elsewhere in my body that will have a chance to grow and do some badness. My vote is to try and do both at the same time - radiation and some low-dose chemotherapy, maybe followed by some harder chemotherapy.
Actually, scratch that. My vote is for this f@#king cancer to get the f@#k out of my body!!!
4 comments:
Fucking cancer. I second your motion. All in favor?
It was great getting a chance to spend so much time with you the other week. Is there a reason that they aren't going to remove those lumps like they removed the first one?
Yeah - actually the first time around they took it out to confirm it was cancer. The challenge is that what seem like isolated spots are most likely not isolated. That is, even if they took these out, there's a high likelihood that there is microscopic disease waiting to coalesce to be large enough to be seen on a scan.
Right now the plan is to do both, lung radiation to kill this disease and anything floating around in the lungs, and chemo to mop up the rest of stuff that might be in my system. . .
aah goddamit alex. stopped checking your blog as I thought you were in the clear. What's the latest news?
also, your short story paragraph is wonderfully written. are you happy with it? describing the laptop as a barrier between the two of you.. well, it is nicely done. places the reader firmly within the head of the writer. and is like the first portent of the unease that pervades the rest until he tells you the scan results.
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