Friday, March 26, 2010

Day Two - Too Busy to Mourn

It’s incredible how much stuff needs to be done in order to take time to say goodbye…

Calling and checking out sites to pick a location. This included “breaking in” to one (done), someone to officiate the service (done), figuring out how to set up a donation site (almost done), figuring out what we need for the service (basically done), and getting all the needed equipment (done), ordering food (oops), shredding receipts – some so old that the ink had long since given up the account information it held (still going), remembering that we need to eat too, cleaning (still going…), getting flowers, pulling together quotes (still going), and responding to emails – thank you so much for all the words of encouragement; I cannot express how much it has helped throughout this terrible time – selecting music (kinda done), getting friends to help (done), picking up friends at the airport (many more to go), etc, etc, etc…

There is just so much to do… which… in a way has been therapeutic.

At least I feel like I’m helping him… even if he is already gone.

We’ve been laughing plenty over stupid things as our exhaustion sets in… or after finding random / interesting things… and, of course, the tears continue to flow as we read emails from friends, find something that reminds us of a special time with him, or just because we miss him.

The outpouring of love, amazing stories, comments of support and sadness has just been phenomenal. Speaking on behalf of all of us planning the service, we thank you from the depths of our heart. It’s been amazing to see how much impact one person can have. From messages that were sent by college & grad school friends here at Stanford, to letters of love from Africa – Alex, in his all too short of a life, still had a global impact.

So again, Thank you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Now for some pics….

How we’ve been spending the last couple days….

No idea how they did it before computers.

Our whiteboard – trying to organize our thoughts.

Checking out a place… No fence can keep Janet out

Receipts so old the ink had completely worn away!

**Notice the handlebars…

Speaking of handlebars… they do work!

Ok… a brief note on the handlebars…

On Wednesday I had a goatee and a major presentation. My plan for the day was to go in to work, have lunch with Alex, go back to work and give the presentation, shave the goatee and show up on Alex’s door with handlebars. The reason: to make Alex smile.

Actually… for the last while… that has been my goal.

When Alex was diagnosed, I took a page from my mom’s book of how to help those you love… when you really can’t… and made it my goal to make Alex smile each time I visited him.

Often I’d come in with a story of stupidity (which may or may not have really happened)… sometimes I’d come in various costumes or pics of events… and of late – modifying my looks.

He didn’t care for the beard.

Really didn’t like the goatee. (“You missed a spot” he said.)

And I knew he wouldn’t like the handlebars… and not like them to a point of at least smiling. (I could see him just slowly shaking his head while saying “Geeeesh…”).

But then Wednesday came… and I never gave the presentation, never shaved, never got to show Alex the handlebars. I still decided to shave it down, feeling that somehow he’s now looking down on me … slowly shaking his head while saying “Geeeesh…”

Miss you buddy.

But don’t worry Buddy – I’ll shave it off for Sunday.

Written by: Blase B. Iuliano
Edited by: Janet Cheng

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